Something to Laugh

A man inserted an ‘ad’ in the classifieds:
“Wife wanted”. Next day he received a hundred letters.
They all said the same thing. “You can have mine.”

I’ve heard your son in the university is quite an author. Does he write for money?”
“Yes, in his every letter.”

Wife: “I can’t decide whether to go to a palmist or a mind-reader.”
Husband: Go to a palmist, it is obvious that you have a palm.

“Wise men are always in doubt. Only idiots are sure of their case.”
“Are you sure of that?”
“Yes, absolutely!

Doctor: Shall I give your wife a local anesthetic?
Husband: No! I’m rich and I can afford the best. Give her something imported.

In a drawing class
Drawing Teacher: - (explaining to the class) Leonardo Da Vinci was a great artist; with just one stroke of brush he could convert a smiling portrait to a sad one.
A Back Bencher: So, what? My mother does it to my father with just a single look.

Then there was a man who said, I never knew what real happiness was until I got married; and then it was too late.

“What’s the matter? You looked depressed.”
“I’m having trouble with my wife.”
“What happened?”
“She said she wasn’t going to speak to me for 30 days.”
“But that ought to make you happy,” “it did, but today is the last day.”

How sweet it is:
On average women say 7,000 words per day. Men manage just over 2000.